By Zavela Makwabe
My mother passed away in January 2021, an experience that turned everything in my world into upside-down shards.
It was as if a rug had been pulled from underneath my feet and it all came tumbling down. I excruciatingly crept through the months that followed to what would be my first Christmas without her.
My mom was big on Christmas, you see; the feast, the treats, the outfits etc. As the holidays drew nearer, I was consumed by this fiery yearning to maintain some sort of customariness to our family tradition because if there’s one thing we all agree on, it’s that she would not want to see us moping about, especially during the Christmas season.
Determined to pull it off, I bought everything on my list, in good time. I whizzed through Christmas Eve, preparing and imitating some of mom’s special dishes.
I give myself an A for effort. Nonetheless, I realised it wasn’t as easy as she made it all look but with the help and dedication of my special little elf (my then six-year-old daughter, Angani), my siblings and I were seated at the table for lunch on Christmas Day, eating, chatting and laughing.
But there was a hollowness to the laughter – even to my own ears. I guess it wasn’t until that moment that the sadness of losing my mother took hold. Christmas would never be the same again!
But with that realisation also came a resolution that we should come up with some new ways to resuscitate our Christmas tradition and make it extra special.
So, this year we’re hopeful for the magic of new beginnings. We will start with a bit of a change to the menu and I must say, I’m suppressing a little excitement and restless anticipation.
‘Tis the season to be jolly after all.
2022 for me was a series of tiny little triumphs, like embracing my weirdness, getting through bad days, ticking items off my to-do list but most importantly it was a year of healing.
I look forward to a merry Christmas and a healthy and happy 2023.
Pictured above: Decorating the tree with my daughter, Angani
Image source: Supplied
