- Family member Bongeka Maphungu feared for Likho Mtuke when he chose to attend initiation school in Ntabankulu, Eastern Cape, but supported him.
- Mtuke, who is gay, says parents should support their children’s choices so they have confidence to face abuse outside the home.
Bongeka Maphungu was scared when her gay family member, Likho Mtuke, told her he wanted to go to initiation school. She did not stop him.
“We asked if he’s sure about the decision he’s taking. We feared that he might be bullied or even worse,” Maphungu said.
Mtuke, from Ntabankulu in the Eastern Cape, made the decision himself. He was not forced.
“I was afraid because in my mind I thought they were going to abuse me since I am gay, but to my surprise I got the opposite,” Mtuke said.
He said mockery from people in his community pushed him to go.
“Making remarks when someone passes you is also a type of abuse … I made a decision to go so that they would stop making them,” he said.
Maphungu said the family had noticed Likho was different from the age of eight. He spent time with girls and did chores usually done by girls, like smearing the floor with cow dung.
The family was relieved he was treated the same as every other initiate.
Mtuke said not every gay person is as fortunate. He knows people who avoided initiation because they feared how they would be treated there.
He is asking parents to support their children’s choices either way.
“If parents can support their kids in every decision they take, it will be easy for them to have confidence when they are being abused outside,” he said.
Maphungu agreed.
“The least we can do as families with gay kids is to support them. They are discriminated against enough on the street and they don’t need it at home,” she said.
